Ladies of the Reaper
by mistymay91
Summary: The choices one makes in a motorcycle club shape the outcome of all members. The Redwood Originals were familiar with this concept the moment they earned their top rocker. Marla Winston, Tara Knowles and Ashlynn Teller could trace their downward spiral to one fleeting decision. In the world of ride or die, brain before bullets, the women of SAMCRO altered the destiny of this MC.
1. Chapter 1

The choices one makes in a motorcycle club shape the outcome of all members. The Redwood Originals were familiar with this concept the moment they earned their top rocker. Marla, Tara and Ashlynn could trace their roots back to one night, and to one fleeting decision. Looking back they realized this choice came, for all of them, on the same night. In the world of ride or die, brains before bullets….the women of SAMCRO altered the destiny of this MC on an ordinary Saturday night.

(_Saturday, April 23, 2003_)

Marla Winston walked into the club house with a purpose. After parking her prized mustang out front, it took about 10 seconds to head straight for the bar. It was a typical Saturday night, so of course the clubhouse was in full tilt. The party looked to be a typical party after a run. Marla was no stranger to the behaviors and actions of SAMCRO. It broke her mother's heart when she chose to go running back to the club, but it was her sanctuary. This clubhouse was her childhood home, and the men in it all had a hand at raising her. Piney might not have been the father she needed, but he was the one she got. He taught her how to protect herself, a skill she was lacking these days.

Marla made it to the bar with minimal resistance. The men all seemed deep in some sort of pussy. It didn't surprise her to see Jax with two particularly loose sweet butts. It would seem that Wendy was long gone, but Jax had a tendency to crawl back to that junkie. The damage from Tara was irrecusably after she up and left for med school and never returned. Marla understood her reasons, but it didn't change the love between the two of them. Tara was her best friend and when she left SAMCRO she left Marla as well.

The new prospect was tending the bar… sort of. He sat at the end of the bar with a few hang arounds and crow eaters. They were all taking shots and sharing some laughs. It pissed Marla off, to be honest, seeing them so happy and care free. She reached behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels. Tonight was about blacking out. Marla took a generous swig from the bottle and then another.

She took the bottle into a secluded corner of the clubhouse. Being social tonight was really not on her radar. She was nursing a black eye that desperately did not need attention. Marla knew she would have to deal with it eventually, but for now she wanted to forget. Luckily, Opie seemed oblivious to the world around him. He would lose his mind tomorrow, but she was safe tonight.

Marla gently grazed her finger over the tender swollen skin. It wasn't her first shiner nor would it be her last. With that thought she took a long swig from the bottle. It wasn't until she was about halfway through that she realized she was drunk. Drinking wasn't exactly her thing. That was more what Jax and Opie did for fun. She preferred the herbal therapies herself. Her thoughts were interrupted by the new prospect and his obnoxious crow eater. They were invading her private corner of the clubhouse. It was very obvious what they wanted the privacy for.

This particular croweater was a very busty blonde. Marla scoffed at the clichéd nature of this whore. She was overly tanned, overly sexed, and her hair was an unsightly white blonde that only comes from a bottle. Her giggle was annoying to say the very least, and she was trying way too hard to be sexy. She shoved the prospect into the wall and started kissing his neck.

The Prospect was pretty good looking. Marla would be an idiot to deny his boyish good looks, but he had a cockiness to him that got under Marla's skin. Those idiotic tattoos on his head caused her eyes to roll more than once. He was an itch all over Marla, and she was afraid she would need to scratch. She took another generous pull from the bottle and watched the couple.

The croweater moved south toward his buckle and in a flash she was down on her knees. That wasn't surprising. Marla was as use to seeing sex as anyone in SAMCRO. The couple didn't seem to notice Marla's presences, and she was not about to announce herself now. She was mildly interested to see how this would play itself out as she took another pull from her bottle. The Croweater made quick work of his pants and immediately set out to suck the prospect off. Her overly dramatic moans were echoing throughout the small space, and Marla couldn't resist rolling her eyes. These women were so desperate to become an Old Lady, but they had no fucking concept that being a part of _this_ club was a death sentence.

Marla had no choice, she was born into the club. SAMCRO ran through her veins and a part of her will always want to run free. There is a yearning to do more, be more, revolt more. The anarchism isn't just laws and structure, but rebellion of ideals and expectations of life. Being born female does not exclude you from these feelings. This might be a man's world, but the anarchy does not just apply to them. That was something Gemma never understood because she wasn't born SAMCRO, she inherited it. The only other woman who understood this feeling was Ashlynn Teller, princess of SAMCRO and daughter of the founding member. Ashlynn was christened in as an outlaw the second she exited Gemma Teller's womb. She was four minutes younger than her twin brother Jax, and the two of them have raised hell ever since.

Marla resented and sometimes rebelled against the shackles of the MC, but she always renewed her ties and strengthen her bond to her SAMCRO family. She was a diplomat, and she fought dirty but smart. Opie had been the same way growing up, and she learned her level headed nature from hero worshiping her brother. Opie was a year older than her, but he never treated her like it. Jackson had no problems chastising her or being generally overbearing. Ashlynn wouldn't take his big brother act seriously, so he went full force on Marla.

* * *

Ashlynn was laying down smoking a joint in one of the dorm rooms of SAMCRO. The party in the clubhouse was like white noise behind the closed door. With each drag the sounds all started to fade into a muted roar. Her body was sore all over from her work out earlier in the day. Ashlynn was no stranger to pain after growing up as the SAMCRO princess. About a year ago, a group of Mayans ran her off the road. It was retaliation for something Jax had done. The doctors told her she would never be able to surf again, but Tellers don't go down easy. Surfing was her livelihood. At the time of the accident she was some major sponsors and competed nationally. Ashlynn was determined to get back to where she was. The journey back from her car accident was a long one. She still was only to the stages of working out, which was why she found herself back in Charming.

SAMCRO was her whole life growing up. She was once a mini-Gemma when it came to her boys. No one gave her any bullshit and she was stubborn as hell. Jackson was not the only Teller with a shit-eating grin and an arrogant cocky charm. Her long blonde hair fell down to her waist and her piercing blue eyes made her rather desirable. Ashlynn used it for her when she wanted, but like her brother, she a tendency to latch unhealthy onto one person. Her current emotional turmoil came from this particular problem.

"The fuck you doing in my bed little girl?" The gravelly voice broke her out of her current thought.

The Tacoma Killer was not one to be fucked with, but Ashlynn was well past that. Her brother, her uncles, her mother; everyone warned her about this man. The problem was she was drawn to him. Ashlynn actively sought out his company… his companionship. There was danger about him and Ashlynn had a thirst for this man. He brought out the animal inside her. He was just like her.

Ashlynn rolled her eyes and took another hit off the joint. She wasn't one to repeat herself, and this man knew exactly why she was here. The weed gave her a full body buzz that helped her relax around the men of SAMCRO….this man in particular.

"I'm not fucking dealing with this tonight Ash. You're not my Old Lady so you can—"

Ashlynn jerked up from the bed staring daggers into Happy across the room.

"If you fucking finish that statement—then I'm done."

Happy crossed over toward the bed and looked down at Ashlynn. He had his typical sneer planted on his face and his hand was twitching at his side. He had been itching to hit her for months, but loyalty to his club stopped him. Ashlynn knew that hitting her would probably cost him his patch, but she knew he was tempted anyways.

"I dream about slitting your throat and watching you bleed out. Then I wake up with a smile on my face."

He took off his shirt and shoes and threw them across the room before crawling into the bed next to her with a sigh. Ashlynn handed him the rest of her joint and put her head on his chest.

Happy took a hit then pushed her head off his chest. His eyes told her he wasn't in the mood for games.

"Well, tell me what the doctor said." He wasn't making eye contact with her, but she knew he wanted to know.

"Looks like I will have to have another shoulder surgery, but I maxed out my insurance already. I'm so sick of surgeries."

He closed his eyes and nodded his head. That was about as close to comfort as he could give.

"I got it, don't worry about that."

Ashlynn scoffed at that response. She knew he would try, but she wouldn't accept it. The next statement was one she was nervous about.

"I can have children though, so that is good." There was a long pause before Happy reacted.

"Not from me you won't. You can just remove that idea now."

Ashlynn rolled to her side, away from Happy. For some reason that comment really pissed her off. She wasn't looking to have kids now, but the desire was there. Her mother had instilled the idea of family into her since birth. A female Teller had one duty, and that was to continue the family line. Ashlynn knew what this life was, and she wasn't ignorant to what her duties were. She loved surfing and she loved traveling, but she knew in the darkest part of her heart that she would give it up to take her place when the time came. The sense of honor and duty and loyalty were things the coursed through Ashlynn's veins.

Being with Ashlynn sealed your place in the Sons of Anarchy. Your rank and worth would be infinitely higher because your children would carry on the Teller bloodline. Happy had always resented this fact, and in turn made it almost impossible to be with. Other men would do anything to be linked to SAMCRO royalty, but Happy saw it as a chore. He already had a name and place for himself. He had no desire to be with a Teller. Fuck Happy for brushing that…_honor_ aside. Her anger ignited and she knew what to say to ignite his.

"Don't worry babe, Opie said he would give me a baby."

Ashlynn felt his foot on her back and a swift push off the bed. She went flying off the side of the bed and landed on her elbow.

"You fucking dick!" she screamed and nursed her injured arm.

Ashlynn knew mentioning Opie would piss him off something fierce. He had this obsessive thought that at any moment Opie was going to admit his love for her. In their youth, the two of them would find comfort in each other. They dated throughout high school and were consistently sleeping together. They did love each other, but it was a friendship. Their comfort with each other was something that confused most people. They didn't understand that two people can be that closely twined without romantic interest. Opie loved Danna more than life. She was the one who his heart belonged to.

"You're lucky I didn't throw you through the window." Happy stated simply.

"I'm going out there and getting Jax. Fuck you, Happy." Ashlynn got up and started to head toward the door.

"You leave that fucking door to get Jax, then you better send in Crystal because we will be over."

Ashlynn glared at him. She could feel the anger and the rage burning inside of her. Happy knew exactly what to say to push her into blind rages. Her breath started to come in pants, and her fists were clenching and unclenching. She could feel her face turning dark shades of red.

Happy had a smirk on his face that was only aiding in Ashlynn's rage. He got up and met her by the door.

"It's a good thing you got off that bed. I just fucked the blonde croweater on it before you got to the party."

And like that, Ashlynn snapped. She lunged at him and started swinging and slapping. Happy took a few hits before knocked her to the ground. She was pinned under his body while she spit, clawed, and cussed from under him. Ashlynn was a Teller after all, she had no problem fighting dirty.

Happy just egged her on with his comments.

"That's right baby, keep going." _No Problem._

She took a knee to his gut and watched his eyes darken. _Shit._ Ashlynn knew that look, and what followed that look.

Happy pushed his hardening dick between her legs. Ashlynn let out a low moan as her brain switched gears.

"Yea baby, tell me what I should do."

Ashlynn looked into his eyes and saw the heat that was reflected in her's.

"Fuck me… but leave the door open. I want those crow eaters to hear who you belong to."

Happy kissed her deeply and then kissed her sore elbow.

"You got it, doll."

* * *

Marla wasn't sure if it was the Jack Daniels or if it was the scene in front of her, but she was getting very warm. She was usually numb to seeing any sort of sexual act. When she was a child she once saw her own father with a club croweater. If that wasn't scarring enough, she also once saw Ashlynn bent over the pool table by Opie. Sex was just part of being around a MC. The prospect was just getting some club head, and yet she couldn't stop staring. About halfway through the prospect seemed to notice her. His eyes locked onto hers and she waited for him to react. Instead, he held her gaze all the way to completion.

Marla had never _watched_ a guy orgasm before. It was strangely erotic and yet intimate, and she wasn't sure what to do. She watched him pull up his pants and send the croweater packing, all without breaking the eye contact. Finally he nodded his head toward the front exit and started heading toward the door.

"Damn, Marla wants the Rican." Ashlynn made her presence known from behind Marla.

She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there or where she came from. Ashlynn grabbed the bottle from Marla and took a long pull.

"Shit. When my brother sees that eye, your boyfriend will be six feet under anyways. This is a perfect time to find a new shoulder to cry on."

Marla tried to tune Ashlynn out, but that was an impossible task. It was better to change the subject.

"How did Happy take the news?"

"He didn't"

"When are you going back to LA?"

"Next month, if I'm given the ok by my doc"

Marla nodded her head and watched Ashlynn take a _very_ generous chug of the whiskey. Ashlynn was model gorgeous and could have any guy she please, but of course she fell for the club Assassin. It doesn't get much deeper in SOA than being a club hit man.

Ashlynn made up her mind to finish the bottle, and Marla could tell it was going to be a long night. Happy was not someone Ashlynn should be with. They were both explosive, unpredictable, dangerous, and generally reckless. Both considered themselves to be Alphas in the relationship, so clearly they were never on the same page….chapter…hell, even book. They fought…they fucked…they repeated. It was unhealthy, but Marla knew they loved each other. It wasn't out in the open or even in the privacy of their shared dorm room, but Marla had seen it.

Ashlynn was the only one who could get Happy out of his dark place and turn off his killer switch. Happy was the only one who Ashlynn let bathe and clothe her after she almost died in her wreck. After that accident, Happy patched SAMCRO from SAMTAC.

"He don't want kids Marla." She looked sad as she drank _Marla's_ bottle.

"Neither do you Ash."

She shrugged and handed the bottle back to Marla. Behind her Happy seemed to enter from the same darkness Ashlynn had. He walked up to Ashlynn and held out a water bottle. He stopped short when he saw Marla's face.

"We are going back to our room, right Hap."

Happy kept his eyes locked in on Marla's eye.

"Babe, is the prospect outside?" This pulled Happy's attention back to Ashlynn

"Why the fuck do you care?"

"Because I'm in love with him"

"Good. Go out there and be with him. He keeps looking this way anyways. Is he waiting for you to meet him?"

Ashlynn smiled and looked Marla in the eyes.

"Just thought I would ask" With that she turned and headed toward the dorm room, leaving Happy behind.

"Crazy bitch." He growled before following Ashlynn out.

Marla had to laugh at the antics of Ashlynn. She would blame it on the JD, but she was going to go out and look for the prospect.

By the time she made it to the picnic table she was wishing she had brought the bottle with her. This was stupid and slightly creepy. The liquid courage was failing her now.

"Want a smoke?"

His hand reached into his cut and pulled out his pack. Marla just nodded her head slightly and watched him. He was a lot more attractive without the croweater and up close. She felt her heart beating in a silly school girl way. The itch turned into a full body reaction.

"Did Aaron do that to you?"

_Of course_. Marla was so stupid. He was looking at her because she looked like a battered woman. She felt her face blush brightly as she took a step away from him. Marla had never felt so foolish.

"Wait, I'm…sorry—that came out wrong. Your eyes are just so pretty—ok now I… this isn't what I was going to say—you see, there…I—ah…have a cigarette."

Marla paused slightly before finally accepting the cigarette olive branch, so to speak. Sitting down on the picnic bench, she patted a spot next to her.

They smoked in silence just enjoying the moment away from the party. When they finished, both seemed reluctant to move.

"Marla, I've wanted to do this since my first day at the garage. I cant take it any longer. If it cost me my patch, ok then."

What is _it_ he was talking abo—

His hands grabbed her face and pulled her in for a kiss. Marla felt this kiss though out her whole body and the itch turned into flames under her skin. Without a second of thought, she climbed onto his lap and straddled him on the bench.

From that moment on, Marla's destiny became intertwined with the Prospect with the mohawk and tribal tattoos.

* * *

Tara sat in the bathroom of her studio apartment. Chicago winters were the absolute worst, and growing up in California did not prepare her. She was cold and she was utterly alone. Being alone was something she was great at. Having an abusive drunk father taught you to keep yourself as hidden as possible. Tara spent a lot of time being angry. Angry at her father…angry at her life….angry at the never ending amount of shit circumstances she found herself in. Currently, she was staring down the handle of vodka on the ground in front of her.

Even when Tara tried to escape danger, she had a knack for finding it with someone else. She thought dating the opposite of Jackson would be the ticket to…safety. Tara spent 19 years afraid of her own shadow. Simply living was dangerous enough, and she grew up looking over her shoulder every second. She promised herself she would get out of Charming, or she would end up in a shallow unmarked grave. The only person who put life into her was Jax, but he was also the one dragging her along with him straight to hell.

Tara loved Jax, but she only knew how to survive. When she got accepted to medical school, she knew she was given her only chance to get out. The drive to survive was something that dictated her every move. She couldn't think, she couldn't breathe, she only focused on making it another day. Tara always figured out a way to survive.

Last year Ashlynn was run off the road because of SAMCRO. If Tara was still in Charming, there is no question it would have been her instead. Tara followed the news, and there was national coverage on the car accident of a professional surfer. The news didn't dig very deep into the story. It was just a coverage of the accident. Tara's heart stopped beating for a second when she found out. She tried to follow the news of Charming. Tara told herself it was to stay updated on her father, but she knew she was waiting to hear if Jax wound up in jail or…well.

The bottle was looking back at her, and she felt helpless. Her ATF agent boyfriend wouldn't stop beating up on her, and she was fighting tooth and nail to get the surgical residence. Tara wasn't happy, and if she was honest with herself she hadn't been happy since she got on the plane. This was the life she fought for, but once she got it…

Most nights when she was alone she would cry for Jax. She knew she broke him by leaving, and every second she was away from him she lost a part of herself. But she knew she made the right choice. That toxic town and that stupid Motorcycle Club would kill her. The brotherhood bullshit might have worked on other women, but Tara wasn't stupid. It was a gang and it was violent and deadly. There was no brotherhood, those men were delusional. Everyone in that MC only cared about greed and self-preservation.

Tara had watched the men of SAMCRO get locked up or killed off. They treated prison and death like a badge of honor for the MC. There was so much _respect_ in going out this way. Tara was there when JT died, and she held Jackson as his heart shattered. There was no respect…there was no pride in this life. When you are gone, the only thing you leave behind is a broken family. You die or spend your life in prison and the only thing you are remembered for was resentment and loneliness.

There was more to life than outlaw, and all she wanted was for Jax to go with her. Jackson was smart and driven. He had so much potential for true success, but he was born into that life. His death certificate was signed the minute he entered the world.

Tara pulled out her phone and scrolled through her contacts. Her finger landed on Jax's prepaid number. She hadn't spoken to him on it in years, and she was sure it was disconnected and burned by now. Her thumb tapped the screen for a few minutes before finally brushing against the send button. She just needed to hear the disconnected tone, or at least someone saying it was the wrong number. Hearing that would make it final. Maybe then she could try for some little happiness.

Her heart pounded as she waited for the call to not go through. The loud ringing threw her off and she waited for something to happen.

"Hello?"

Tara froze in shock. All the blood in her body ran cold as her hand shook violently. He wasn't supposed to answer.

She could hear loud noises in the background, it was a Saturday after all. Some things never change.

"Tara… is this you?" His voice seemed worried and slightly confused.

"Please. Just say something—Tara, please."

"You—you weren't supposed to answer." Tara whispered into the phone.

"If you're in some kind of trouble, tell me. What's going on?"

She could hear the panic in his voice. This was a huge mistake, and she was making it worse.

"I—I'm fine. I just..I don't know why I did this. I shouldn't…I thought this would be burned by now."

Tara heard Jax release a long sigh and waited for him to say anything. She could tell he was on the move because the sounds in the background were fading. She twirled a piece of her hair waiting for him to do…something

"You still there?"

"Yes"

"Tara, you can't—you can't do this to me. You left. You wanted out and I didn't even chase you down. I let you go. I just—I don't know."

Tara felt tears pour down her face, and she could feel his heartbreak over the phone.

"You know what that crow means. When you're ready…just, come home."

"I'm not coming home, Jackson."

His voice got quiet on the other end

"I know darlin', but if you come back to this town—you're coming back to me."

Tara knew in that moment that she would.


	2. Chapter 2- Ashlynn

Ashlynn took a long drag of her cigarette as she desperately tried to calm her nerves. Fourteen months in prison seemed like an eternity, and now the men of SAMCRO were on their way home. She fiddled with the lighter and tried to keep her hands busy. Tara kept looking over at her with a look of pity. _Well, Tara can bite me_.

Lyla sat across from Tara and was shooting daggers at Ashlynn. She tried to ignore the hate filled stares, even if she deserved it. Things were…_tense_ with the Old Ladies of SAMCRO, and it was all because of the actions of its _Princess_.

"Baby, you need to fucking relax."

Gemma grabbed the lighter from Ashlynn's hand, effectively stopping her in her tracks.

"Happy wouldn't let me visit him in prison. _Ass_… Now he is out and I'm just supposed to—what, leap into his waiting arms."

Gemma snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Baby, this ain't his first time. He wants to stay hard in there—that's his business. I don't remember you being this fidgety last time."

Gemma lit her cigarette and let her words linger. Ashlynn seemed to shrink under her gaze. An arrogant smile pulled across her lips.

"Hoping he didn't hear about—you know who."

Ashlynn's eyes cut into Gemma and she visibly paused. The Teller rage ran deep in this child, and it had its moments when it was directed at Gemma.

"Kozik had better keep his mouth shut, that all I'm saying."

Ashlynn saw Marla's car pulling into the lot from the street. Her Mustang was pretty easy to spot, even at an auto shop. She pulled her car up next to Tara's Cutlass and hopped out. Marla looked very out of place in her blazer and skirt getup. She had a stack of paperwork with her that looked ready to tip over. Her heals clicked all the way toward the clubhouse.

"Hey, Sugar. The boys on their way?"

Marla smiled at Gemma and Ashlynn as she walked toward her. The paperwork shifted onto her other arm.

"Yea, they just checked out of Stockton. I'm filing their parole papers in the office. These are just some signed copies to keep for our records." Marla gestured to the large stack of papers digging into her side.

Marla turned on her heals and headed back toward the office. As she passed Tara, the two exchanged knowing looks.

Ashlynn had noticed something going on with the two of them, but she knew better than to point it out to her mother. That woman had been looking for a reason to hate Tara again. It was nice to have a civil family gathering these days. Not that Tara was completely in Ashlynn's good graces just yet.

"When are you leaving again? And don't give me your bullshit—you're just like your father. He was quite the rolling stone himself. The guys are out now; your SAMCRO duties are done. Besides, the surf season is coming up."

Ashlynn had to laugh at her mother's antics. She was always questioning her about her next big disappearance. Hap was Nomad before, so things were easy between them. She bounced around the country, and he found her when he wanted. Now, well, she knew he wanted to patch back into SAMCRO. Ashlynn had no intention of staying in Charming.

"Soon." Ashlynn shrugged and stubbed out her cigarette.

Almost on cue, the roar of Harleys hit the lot. The patched members of Sons of Anarchy were rolling into the lot. The men who forever held her heart were finally home. It hadn't been an easy 14 months, their absence was felt in all areas of Ashlynn's life.

The men all hopped off their bikes and headed toward their Old Ladies and family. Gemma headed toward Clay and began her duties as queen. She had to greet all the guys and welcome their families. Ashlynn knew that was what was expected of her as well, but she stayed rooted in place.

The Croweaters all seemed to appear out of nowhere. _Clearly they were missing Trager's big dick. _A few of them were bouncing up and down and giving out catcalls. Ashlynn rolled her eyes and looked back into the sea of patches.

Opie was sporting a newly swollen eye and a fat lip. _Fuck._

Happy looked up from his hug with Chibs to connect eyes with Ash.

His eyes immediately iced over and the earlier excitement was gone from them. Ashlynn felt her heart drop into her gut. _Double Fuck. God Damn, Kozick._

Happy walked right toward where Ashlynn was standing, and without missing a beat, headed into the open arms of the Croweaters.

"Oh yeah, by the way...he knows." Jax laughed as he approached Ashlynn.

She was too deep in her own head to even hear him approach. She shot her twin the exact look she sent her mother minutes ago.

"Hey, don't send that look at me. You're the one who let the big bearded giant wet his dick. You should have seen Hap inside when he found out." Jax was laughing at this point.

Ashlynn was glad her life was amusing to him.

"Prison Clause" Ashlynn muttered quietly to herself.

This only seemed to cause his laugher to grow… and it was starting to really piss her off.

"Hey, go hold your nephews. At least they still love you."

Ashlynn punched Jax in the stomach and then went to do just that.

Able was playing on the new gym equipment that the prospects built. It was really a nice touch, and it kept the SAMCRO babies occupied during various club meetings. Tara was sitting with a sleeping Thomas when she saw Ashlynn approach.

"Oh, hey."

Ashlynn reached for the sleeping baby and Tara handed him over with ease. Ashlynn had been a God send with him while Jax was in prison. Ash wasn't really in the mood for small talk, but if anyone understood SAMCRO drama it was Tara.

"So, that didn't go so well."

Tara laughed out loud and shook her head.

"I actually thought it went better than I expected. From what Jax told me, he seemed to get his _aggression_ out inside."

Ashlynn sighed and gently rocked Thomas who was starting to fuss.

"It's his fucking fault. Opie and I wouldn't have gotten so shit faced if it wasn't for him and Lyla. I mean—fuck, Tara. We both want babies but we're with people who don't."

Ashlynn tried to even her emotions, but her eyes were starting to fill. It honestly broke her heart being with Happy. She hated her future with him, but she couldn't live without him.

Tara looked at her the way she always did, a mix of pity and something else.

"Don't look at me like that."

"You have no idea how much I get it, Ash"

Ashlynn doubted that highly, Jax would do anything for her.

"You'd be a great mom. Hap will figure it out."

Clay's voice could be heard bellowing out across the lot. The rest of the guys were joining in as well.

"Church in ten."

Ashlynn looked over to where Happy was sitting. He was surrounded by his favorite croweaters. It was disturbing enough that Ashlynn knew they were his favorite, and seeing them all over him put her on a whole new level.

She wasn't going to cause a scene because, to be honest, she deserved this. She hurt him, even if he would never say so. He was doing this to send his message, and none of the guys were going to blame him.

"I'm gonna take the boys home. Stay out of trouble?" Tara smiled at her as she took back Thomas.

Ashlynn nodded and turned back to the clubhouse. The guys all seemed to be slowly filling their way back toward the chapel. She wanted a drink…or 10, and Marla was never one to turn down a good tequila shot.

She headed toward the office. Marla had said something about filing something. She figured the little bitch was stuck up in the room sorting.

Ashlynn ripped open the door and was momentarily blinded by the sight of Puerto Rican ass on top of a very naked Marla.

"Fucking, seriously! Again?! Why do I always walk in on this?"

Her entrance did little to deter them, it had been 14 months after all. She barely recognized the little spaz with so much hair. The loud moan coming from Marla snapped her out of her thoughts. Ashlynn turned around and sprinted out the door. She still couldn't get use to _that_ happening. She cursed the day she forced them together.

She immediately headed toward the bar, flagging down the closest prospect. They understood her look by now, and a shot was placed in front of her before she knew it.

Ashlynn started slamming down as many shots as she could. Even after all this time, the burn of the liquor still got to her. Ashlynn could see Juice sprinting out of the office and toward Chapel, barely making it in time. It took everything in her not to call out after him. At least he was getting some.

She didn't know what she was doing and she sure didn't know how to deal with Happy. They needed to talk sooner rather than later. She had been staying in his dorm room while he was away. There wasn't really a point in renting a place when she lived somewhere else. If he was sending her out on her ass then she wanted to know now.

"Real sorry to hear about you and Hap breakin' up."

"Ain't nobody dumping nobody…so shut it, Phil."

Phil had the decency to look embarrassed as he poured her another shot, but Ashlynn could only imagine what everyone was saying.

There was a commotion coming from chapel and then the double door swung open. The guys all started collecting their things as Clay told them they had 5 minutes before heading out. Happy had effectively avoided her all day, but it was proving harder to just let him be. Ashlynn watched as he took right back up with the croweaters. Opie sat down in the empty seat next to Ashlynn at the bar. Ash continued to stare at Happy, ignoring the new presence at the bar.

"I'm sorry this is blowing back on you. It was just a dumb thing, you know? I reckon Lyla wasn't even this pissed. People just seemed to expect it would happen eventually."

Ashlynn gave a noncommittal shrug as she glared down Happy. She could tell he noticed Opie's change of locations. Reading him wasn't hard, and the sudden shift of his peripheral vision was not lost on her.

"I still want you to come to the wedding."

"Course I will. You're my best friend."

Ashlynn turned and smiled tenderly at Opie who eventually smiled back. Things had been rocky after their night together. It was confusing for both of them because they both wanted the same thing, but with different people.

She felt his presence before Opie even noticed. Ashlynn could feel him standing behind her shoot daggers at the both of them. She knew she had to tread carefully and basically walk on eggshells around Opie. Happy could easily be persuaded to slit both of their throats for good measure.

"Brother." Opie nodded at Happy and immediately removed himself from the situation. It seemed one beat down from Happy was enough for the day.

Ashlynn spun around on her chair and looked Happy in the eyes. Her heart leapt and simultaneously broke at the sight of him. It had been such a long time since they had seen each other, and her love for him poured through her.

"If I see you talk to Opie again, I'll break your neck." His eyes were hard and the sneer on his lips set her on edge. The Killer was coursing through him.

Ashlynn had dealt with the Killer for years. He was hard and he was deadly. The Killer wasn't Happy, but she could deal with him too. Ashlynn was probably the only one to face off against the Killer and live, but she had a few close encounters. The Killer meant every threat he dished out to her, but Happy never did. It was hard to balance them and even harder to keep herself safe.

"We were only talking." She tried to turn away from him.

Hap grabbed her hair and ripped her head back. She could hear the pop of her neck, and once again she was reminded of his strength.

"I'm telling you to fuckin shut your mouth."

He let go of her head and stepped aside.

"I'm going to the Jellybean. I'll probably stay there until the wedding."

Ashlynn looked up at him upon hearing this. She hated how much he stepped out on her, and saying it to her face was the ultimate disrespect. She could feel her eyes start to water, but she forced it down. Ashlynn wasn't sure how long she was going to be forced in the doghouse. She saw his face soften a little as he realized what he was doing to her.

"Fine. I figure I should tell you I am leaving soon. I'm moving back to Venice Beach or maybe LA."

Happy stared at her for a few seconds before his face went blank.

"Fine with me."

With that he turned and headed out to his bike. The slam of the door tore her heart into miniscule pieces. She felt the weight of his apathy toward her, and it killed her.

Ashlynn's eyes raced around the clubhouse trying to pick out the same blue pair as her. All the guy, _who were clearly eavesdropping_, wouldn't make eye contact with her. She just needed her brother. Ashlynn spotted him in the corner talking to Clay. He sensed her eyes on him and looked up. Upon seeing her, he excused himself and headed over. He barely made it halfway before Ashlynn ran toward him and collapsed into his arms.

The tears she had been fighting off all day were coming with abundance. She felt Jax wrap himself around her and whispered soothing words to her. She was hurting and her twin could feel it tenfold.

"Darlin', pack your stuff out of Happy's dorm. I want you staying with me for the next few days." He whispered into her ear.

Ashlynn nodded her head and collected herself. It wasn't normal for her to meltdown, but the emotions were running too high and too fast today.

"I'll meet you at the wedding. He's not cheating on you at the Jellybean. You may be his girl, but you're the Princess of SAMCRO first. I won't let him disrespect you like that, sis."

With that, Jax kissed her head and followed the rest of the guys out the door. They were barely back an hour and they were already causing havoc. Ashlynn had to chuckle at that.

"Don't know what you're so upset about. You knew what you were doing when you and my idiot son got together." Piney spoke up behind her.

Ashlynn could feel herself shrinking under his gaze. She was always being scolded like a child by him. It was embarrassing.

She could feel her face burn red and Piney just shook his head and walked toward the bar.

Marla, of course, chose this exact moment to make her presence known in the club. Ashlynn wasn't sure how much she saw, but she sure looked pissed.

"Shots? I am about to be related to a porn star. God knows I deserve some liquor." Marla scoffed as she made her way toward the bar.

Ashlynn looked back at Piney who was shaking his head. He liked to pretend Marla's smart mouth came from Mary.

"Tequila, please. Dose." Marla looked back at Ashlynn with a raised eyebrow.

Ashlynn closed the distance between the two and grabbed a seat at the bar.

They sat there for a bit just taking shots in silence before Ashlynn spoke.

"Sorry about earlier. Didn't know you were getting off in the office these days."

Marla just shrugged in a noncommittal fashion.

"Boy has the stamina of a teenager. I get my kicks where I can."

"So how much did you see?"

Marla looked at Ashlynn for a second. She was clearly choosing her words carefully.

"He has no right treating you like this. His dick is constantly in some sort of club pussy. Not to mention, he hasn't crowed you yet. So you fucked Opie… he needs to get over it."

"It's because of the fact that I did it with Opie. Op is…a sensitive topic with him."

Ashlynn watched Marla analyze what she said and come to the correct conclusion. Marla was about a bright as they come.

"Oh, God. A blind man could see how you felt about him. He really thinks it's my brother you want? He's dumber than he looks."

Ashlynn shot her a dirty look before turning back to her drink. Marla had never been a fan of Happy, and this was only going to add to her ever growing hate list.

"In all serious. Ash, I'm worried." Ashlynn looked up at this.

"He loves you; If his overreaction and extreme jealousy didn't make that obvious enough. But Ash. He is going to kill you. He knows it too. Why do you think he pushes you away so much? It isn't because he is scared or some pussy shit like that. He knows what he is capable of, and you just amp it up inside him. I hear what he says and I see how close he gets. That's why he doesn't want you and it sure as shit is why he won't have kids. He loves you."

Ashlynn was stunned into silence. Marla had never said this to her before and hearing it now was too much. She didn't want to hear a word of what Marla was telling her. She knew the truth behind it, but she also knew her situation a lot better than Marla.

Marla looked at her just like Tara did. It made sense now. They were clearly discussing her life.

"I have a handle on it, ok? And Hap would never hurt me."

Marla put her hands up in surrender. She was never one to push issues, basically the opposite of Gemma. It was one of her charms.

"Let's go get ready for this disaster of a wedding. Maybe if you hadn't fucked the groom you would be in the bridal party too."

Ashlynn shot Marla a glare and a middle finger before getting up from the bar. It should be interesting how this plays out.


	3. Chapter 3- Marla

The wedding went off with just a few minor hiccups. That is, if you call a pile of dead Russians a hiccup. Marla was now the sister-in-law to  
a porn star. She didn't have a problem with Lyla, per say. Marla's problem stemmed from the vast emptiness and void she felt from the death of Donna. Donna was her sister in every way that mattered, and now Donna was 6 feet under. The five years Opie spent in prison drastically altered her family. Things almost started looking up and then Donna was hit.

At the time of Opie's incarceration, Marla was just getting out of law school and was very ill equipped to stand trial; the crimes of SAMCRO always warranted federal attention. She got into law because she wanted to fight against the people who went after her family. It took removing herself from Charming to see that her family was the one in the wrong. She changed her specialty from criminal law to family law. If she couldn't protect her brothers and uncles, than she would protect their children.

The most she had done for SAMCRO was keeping Wendy as far from Able as possible. The members would still consult her for minor infractions and when they needed quick legal advice. Her practice was on the outskirts of Charming, and she worked mostly with clients from Lodi. She was a shark in the courtroom, and due to her reputation, she settled mostly out of court. Her focus was always on family. That was a trait that the Old Ladies of SAMCRO had instilled in her. That trait had yet to carry over into her personal life.

Marla currently found herself in an empty house. She had been living with Juice for the last two years, and yet she still felt like she was living alone. He spent a large amount of time at the clubhouse or hooked up to the technology in the clubhouse. It didn't bother her so much, but moments like this reminded her that her life outside of work was rather empty. Don't get her wrong, she loved Juice, but there wasn't much else besides the love.

The strain in the relationship started to slowly creep in when they were brought into Stockton. After Juice was shanked inside, Marla began to resent everything. Her brother served time and so had her father, but she was so goddamn sick of being left behind. After he was released he immediately jump ship to Ireland, and Marla could feel herself no longer being a priority. After fourteen months of visiting him at a visitors table, she just about threw in the towel. She could be there and support her old man, but he sure didn't act like he needed her. Chibs had talked to him about it, Marla was sure. He knew what happened when you took your Old Lady for granted. Fiona was still a sensitive subject after all these years, and especially now after all the shit with the Irish. Maybe the attraction was just fading. They still regularly screwed, but that was about all she was used for. Eight years of dating was a really long time after all.

She heard the back door slam and his heavy footsteps trudging through the house. He was supposed to have been home hours ago, but it wasn't uncommon with SAMCRO to get called in at random times. What was uncommon was that he didn't call her.

Juice walked into the bedroom and flipped on the lights. Marla was sitting cross-legged on top of the made bed. She hadn't bothered to change out of her work clothes. To be honest, she had lost track of time sitting here waiting for him.

"Jesus, Marla what are you doing?" Juice shook his head and slowly started changing out of his clothes.

"Where were you?"

"Got picked up and then had church," Juice busied himself with sorting and organizing the clothes haphazardly thrown around the room.

Marla watched him with a sharp eye as he worked through his compulsive cleaning. His OCD really flared up when he was under a lot of stress. She knew a little about the voting tonight. Looks like the drugs passed.

"Why didn't you call me? You do know you're dating a lawyer, right?"

Juice seemed to ignore that comment as he folded and refolded his dirty shirt before placing it in the hamper.

"Juice, you are on parole. Roosevelt is looking for anything to put you back inside. What the hell were—"

Juice snapped out of his action at the mention of Roosevelt. He dropped the pants onto the ground and looked at Marla. He had a weird look in his eye, and she didn't like it.

"Yeah, I know all this. That's why I called a real lawyer."

Marla's eyes narrowed at this comment, but she didn't respond. Marla was a smart girl, and her instincts were on overdrive. She knew this man, and she knew him much better than this. Juice was never a cruel man, oblivious sure, but never purposefully cruel. He said that comment for a reason, and Marla wasn't about to be goaded into a fight.

"Wana tell me what's going on?" Marla's eyes cut into Juice as he shifted his weight.

Juices face was rushing through so many emotions, Marla couldn't keep up. He finally settled on cool indifference. His shifting weight stopped, but his left hand was clenching and unclenching into a fist. That was always a sign to Marla.

"I want to break up."

The words hung in the air for what seemed like eternity. Marla searched his eyes for anything, but the guard he had up was a mile high. She couldn't accept this, not after 8 years.

"No."

"What do you mean no, Marla?" Juice's face was slowly cracking under the pressure.

Marla hopped off the bed and confronted him face-to-face.

"Juan. You don't want to break up. I can tell because you do this thing when you're lying. Whatever is going on, just tell me."

Marla reached up and touched his face. He melted into her touch for a second and then stepped back. He looked absolutely crushed, and Marla couldn't get to him.

Being with someone for eight years made you an expert on them. You know their sounds and their body language. Marla had always seen Juan Carlos as an extension of herself. Ashlynn often joked that Marla and Juice were more connected than her and Jax, and they shared a womb. Since the moment they kissed they had been intertwined. This was new territory for them, and Marla was now beginning to panic.

"Marla, just don't. I want to break up. I'm serious. Things have been off for awhile, anyways."

Juice looked empty as he said this. There was a strange look about him that Marla didn't know.

"Bullshit. That's not the reason for all of this. If it was then you would have done it a long time ago. We've been together longer than most people are married. At least respect me enough to tell me the truth." Marla felt her anger start to prick. He really wasn't going to tell her.

"That is the truth."

"Fuck you, Juan. Just tell me!"

"I did."

Marla was seeing red at this point. He wasn't even raising his voice back at her. He had that same blank look on his face.

"I just can't deal with you on top of all the stuff I'm doing for SAMCRO. That is the truth." Juice's guard came down for a second, and he just looked tired.

"You can't deal with me!? You do realize that I'm SAMCRO too. They are my blood family, you dick. So try again. What the fuck is your reason?"

Marla's anger was propelling her forward. She could feel it burning in the pit of her stomach as she screamed the last part in his face. That seemed to trigger something in Juice's eyes to turn black.

"Ok. I slept with a Croweater. That a better reason?" Juices face was harder than she had ever seen it.

Marla immediately looked for signs of his lying. Her eyes scanned his blank face and shifted to his still hands. His whole body gave off the vibe of nothingness. Marla felt the wind get knocked out of her and her heart shattered. She hadn't felt this way since seeing Opie holding Donna's body on the side of the road. It physically burned her insides and she felt completely shattered, broken. A sob got caught in her throat as she tried to breathe. She knew she was hyperventilating, but she couldn't calm down enough to get any breath in. She crumbled to the ground as she tried to calm her heartbeat.

"Shit." Juice dropped down and tried to pull her to her feet. She curled away from him as she mentally tried to calm her upcoming panic attack. Marla had only had one other panic attack in her life, and it was when she saw Opie get shot a few years ago. Juice had been there and he had been the only one to get through to her. Piney and Jax both couldn't do anything to help her.

"Mar, sit up and put your head between your knees. I know you're pissed at me, and I won't touch you. Come on baby. You gotta sit up."

Marla, half in panic and half aware, followed his instructions. She pulled herself up and put her head down. Out of nowhere, Juice seemed to have found a paper shopping bag for her to breathe into. Slowly she started to relax and her breathing started to come down. The pounding in her chest turned into knocking, and she could hear without her ears ringing.

Juice was sitting directly across from her and his guard was now completely dropped. His face looked guilty and panicked. She could finally make out the Juice she loved, but then the words he said rushed back at her. The memory gripped her in the heart.

"Get the fuck out." She whispered.

The venom in her voice must have translated because he immediately backed up. She wanted him out before she lost it again. Eight years of her life were gone in on simple statement, and she wanted to be alone to process her loss. Marla wrapped her arms around her legs and made herself as small as possible. _This can't be happening to me_.

"Marla. I don't know why I said that. I—"

Marla buried her head into her knees and started to cry. This kind of sadness creeps up on you and flips you upside down. She didn't want him to see her like this, but now she just didn't care.

"Stop Juice. You knew—it was the only way…and you knew that. Don't play stupid, because you aren't. I don't care what the guys tell you. This was the only way I would let you dump me." Marla started to sob all over again.

Juice, to his credit, looked like he was about to join her. He didn't refute her accusation which only proved it to Marla. Even at her lowest she could see what he was doing.

"When?"

"After church."

The obsessive cleaning of his dirty clothes… Marla got it. With the final nugget of information, the damn broke. She began to hysterically sob as she rocked herself on the floor. She cried until her body and throat hurt from it and then cried some more. At some point Juice had left, and she didn't blame him. She alternated from crying to scream out at him for doing this to her. She gave up eight years for him and he seemed ok with everything happening.

Marla wasn't sure how long she was lying on the ground in tears, but eventually the door opened.

"Hey baby girl."

A pair of large arms wrapped around her and picked her up with ease. He carefully set her down in her bed and tucked her in. With some resistance, he lay in bed next to her. His arms wrapped around her as she tried to collect her small sobs.

"Thanks Ope."

"Hey, it's ok sis. I've gotcha. Go to sleep. I'll deal with him." He kissed her head like he use to when they were little.

Maybe it was the exhaustion, or maybe it was the comfort, but Marla eventually found sleep. A few hours later she woke up. It was clearly still late in the night, but she was having a fitful sleep. Voices were echoing down the hall. With the door closed, the voices were muted.

Marla's curiosity got the better of her as she quietly crept toward the door. She opened the door slightly ajar to listen to the voices a little more clearly.

"She's not like Lyla. She can handle shit if you go away."

"Yea, like she handled this so well."

"Hey. Shut up asshole. You cheated on her after eight fucking years."

Marla heard Juice sigh and there was a tense silence.

"I don't want to go over that—"

"Yeah, I don't either."

Marla waited for either one of them to say anything, but she was met with silence.

"You're her Old Man…you threw that away. She won't take you back after tonight. She watched Piney drag Mary through the wringer. She won't deal with that. Hell, I'm surprised she has stuck around this long. You've been treating her like shit."

There was more silence.

"But you knew all that. You knew it before you cheated and you knew when you told her. You wanted out. You're out."

"I don't want out. I just need out."

"Sounds like the same shit to me, brother. Listen, pack you things and get out while she is at work tomorrow. I'll send Gemma over to help deal with all the shit you dumped on her."

_Great. That's the last thing she wanted…Gemma._

Marla heard footsteps and the back door slam. Opie had always been a good brother to her. He said his piece and he handled shit. She was honestly glad that Juice didn't call Jax. Jax would have been pouring gasoline on the flames by now. The whole town of Charming would be awake and watching Juice burn if it was up to Jax. Juice knew that though, and he knew she needed her brother.

Marla ran her hand subconsciously over her hip. She always touched her crow tattoo when she was deep in thought. It was just one more reminder of what she lost tonight. Now that her mind was clear, she started repeating the things she heard and saw.

Her mind was working overtime to try to fully process what happened. She knew the basics, but she also knew there was much more under the surface. Juice fully expected her to ditch him and move on without another thought. He had planned on it. That is what kept her mind circling back. Why did he plan this? Why did he plan this?

Because that is what he did, he planned this breakup. Marla was like a dog with a bone when she was onto something. No way in hell was this going down without a fight. Her bravery got the best of her and she slowly slipped out into the darkness of the hallway. She kept to the shadows and inched her way toward the entryway. She could make out the kitchen table from this angle, and Juice was sitting facing nothing. For the first time in eight years, Marla was pretty sure she saw him cry.

* * *

_**Thanks to my followers and faithful readers. I'm going to be paralleling the season 4 events with the story. We already know what's going on from the male side…this is a different perspective. I'm flipping perspectives from the three females based on the events. It's a bit of a downer for awhile, but I am developing these relationships to correlate with the events of the season. **_


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